Day 5/17 without helper.. Reflections and accomplishments

I have been busy you know. but I sort of realized that whenever we get really busy, we tend to push ourselves over the norm, do you? 

Why is it that during my normal working days, I am always very tired. Yes I am so fortunate that I can crash right into bed at 10pm (or earlier) when my children are not even sleeping yet. Cos I know my hub and helper would help to tuck the kids to bed while I just crash and snooze till the dawn breaks.

But somehow these few days I feel like I am in a over my norm mode. I wake at 6am, prepare breakfast for the kids, for Ray papa and myself.. prepare ingredients for lunch (yaya.. like so early in the morning).. and sleep is probably only possible past midnight. Like it is close to 1am now and I am still at the keybard.

But somehow I found back another form of sanity. I sort of forgot how therapeutic it can get when I do the dishes or hang the laundry or even when I pack the bags for the kids. I nearly forgot.. but I am only glad I found this feeling back. I do miss doing all these nitty gritty things in the household. I need to remind myself that I am still a very handson mum. I am really proud of myself for being able to accomplishing these so many things:

• Sensorial play with lil I 

More about sensorial play in the next post.

• Isa get to help shower Dora - home alone with 3 kids so I had to rope in the big bro's help.

• Grocery trip with the 3 kiddos - a post dinner activity with Ray papa

• fetching and sending kiddos to school - yes drove with all 3 kids in the car all by myself. 
• building a closer bond with friends who had help to babysit lil I while I clean up the house and run errands. Thank you my dear friends, you know who you are.

From tomorrow, I will be entering in another mode. which is to work half days and get back home right after lunch while Ray papa moves into full day leave mode till our dear helper comes home. How will he cope? I am not sure but I am sure that he will also push himself over his norm till I reach home. And till the next post. It is time for bed.

Documents to prepare and submit for your PH domestic helper's home leave

Call me lucky or unlucky but I have had never any experience handling the paperwork for my helpers for their home leave till of recent. 

Liked I mentioned in my previous post, here are some of the documents that you are required to prepare for submission that the Philipines Embassy before sending your PH domestic helper home.

On the documents submission day:

Requirements for the authenticated Employment Contract:

• Two (2) copies of Standard Employment Contract (Original)* – All pages of the contract should be signed by the employer and the worker.
• Two (2) copies of Undertaking of an Employer (Original)*
• Two (2) copies of Work Permit (plus 1 copy for passport renewal)
• Two (2) copies of Passport (plus 1 copy for passport renewal)
• One (1) copy of Employer’s IC
• Seven Thousand Singapore Dollars (S$7,000.00) Performance Bond from a reputable Insurance Company (Original) - I gotten mine from NTUC Income for $70+
• One (1) copy of the Ten Thousand Dollar Medical Insurance (MOM)

*the softcopy of these documents can be found from the Philippines Embassy website. 

Be prepared to pay a $42.50 for the process of authentication of home leave, a $17.00 for verification.

On your first visit to the Philippines Embassy, do prepare all the above documents otherwise it will be a invalid trip. Also remember that flipflop slippers are not allowed upon entry to the Embassy. 

You will and should be directed to Window 1 to do your submission. Remember to collect your collection slip for your contract, it should state a date of about a week later. Then proceed to book your OEC date at the Philippines Embassy website. 

TIP #1 : if you want to save a trip down to the embassy, book a OEC date on the same day as your contract collection date, this should help speed things up for collection.

Also get your helper to apply for these before the documents collection day.

• OWWA membership - $42
• PAG-IBIG membership - $6

*both of this can be apply at the Philippines embassy or at Lucky Plaza  - click here for more details. 

On the documents collection day:

Bring along 3x print out of the OEC application form and also your contract collection slip. Also bring along a print out of your helper's air ticket for verification.

TIP #2: buy extra baggage for your helper as they are bound to carry TONS of things home for their home leave. We paid $26 extra for her to bring back 40 kg worth of stuff!

Once all the documents are ready, you will be collecting:

• valid authenticated contract
• Overseas Employment Certificate (OEC)

The contract will look something like this.

Be prepare to pay a $3 for the OEC.

Viola! Your helper is ready to go home!

But also be ready for a at least 10-14 days of maidless day! Well there are still 4 more days  to the return of my auntie and we survived so far with a pri school goer, a toddler and a big tummy! #achievementunlocked for me definitely!

Hope my post help you in a way or two :)

Maidless for 12 days.

Consider me lucky but since I have had the helper from 2010, I never had any major helper issues. For the previous one, we sent her back to the agent due to some reasons. Anyway.. 

August had just began and I will be offically "maid-less" for 12 days. About 2 weeks ago, I received insider news from my son that my helper's mom had passed away. Of course my heart sank and I was lost and did not know what to do.

I was quite in a frenzy. Mainly because our original plans of sending her on home leave was suppose to be next June have to be move forward to ...today!!

So if you have not send your PH helper home before, the next read might be a good post to read up. For now.. wish me luck! :D

Photo credits

FTWM.. what is that?

The above acronym actually means Full Time Working Mums.

Well there was a whole big celebration linky party about SAHMs who all believes that they strive their best to be there for their family, nothing less than perfect. To be honest I really look up to these mummies who stay at home for the sake of their families. They are not paid, no annual leave nor bonus is given.. And they work 24/7. I salute you mummies for the sacrifices you made for your love ones. Well there are always two sides of the coin and I happen to be on the other side. So we, the FTWMs, also want to hop on the bandwagon for some celebrations! Well here is my version of why I decided to be on the FTWM side.

Yes I work full time (I tweaked a little of my working hours for this year) but still my working status is still reflected as a full time staff on my payslip. 

"Since young, my mom was a FTWM. My sister and I were in the care of my babysitter who later became my Godma. I literally stayed with her throughout the whole of weekdays, only to go home on either Friday night or Saturday mornings. So after I gave birth, I also decided to take the path of my mom, who still works now. To better provide my family in term of financial I guess. I got married young and there was really too many commitments that we shouldered. Moreover my hubs was in favour of me working as he knew that I "was not the kind who can stay at home".

So from young, Isa was in the care of a babysitter too. In 2008, my new corporate job moved me to the west side so I had to move to my parent's place so that I can take a shorter route to work. But it turned out that it was not for the better. I worked full time and hours were long. On top of that I took on part time tuition in the night time. I thought money was very important. Guess I was wrong. Cos I got stressed up that I had a incident. An incident that led me to lose a very dear one in my life. I guess it was God's calling. I think he was trying to tell to slow down. So I did. I spent more time with God and I went back to my old job as an early childhood educator and picked up a job near my own place. So we moved home. So now my kids are in the care of my helper and my MIL who stays with me. You can perhaps join the dots on how we manage this new lifestyle from then on."

And now here is a typical day for me:
AM
645 wake up and get ready
715 wake my son for school
730 send my son to school, recites his spelling words to him during the ride
8am reach school and I make my way to work
9am Start Work

PM
6pm get off work
7pm dinner
730-830 Takes care of my daughter while supervising my son in his work
830-930 Children get ready for bed
10 Me time or spend time talking to hubs about the day
11 time for bed

By the way, this is just an ideal schedule for me. I have not insert any unforseen circumstances (such as children falling sick or some broken appliance) or situations when firefighting is literally needed at home. Did I also mention that I also run a online blogshop, on top of that I also have like 6 group chats in my WA (this is very important cos they help me to maintain my sanity!). So friends, think again before you want to ask me why I didnt reply to your sms at once. :)

It is never easy to be a full time working mum. Neither it is easy to bring up a child. Such as the Africa proverb goes:

"It takes a village to raise a child"

Author unknown

How apt. So people please do not judge us when we place our children in the care of another caregiver/s. Ask before you do cos Each and every one of us has our untold story. 

Hope this blogpost will give you a more insight of how we FTWM try to balance up our life. How we FTWMs try very hard to still bring some bread home and yet hope to be there for our children. How we also yearn to stay at home but yet we can't (perhaps for our family).
So to ever dearest Isa and Dora, mama really hopes to be there for you but I hope you will understand one day why I choose to take this route instead of another.

Come hop over and see our whole array of FTWMs with their own stories to tell.
Linking up with Sandra's

Giving Thanks - to my helpers

I don't usually blog about helpers and such as I respect about their privacy. But after reading Jiahui's writing about hers, I feel I should show some acknowldgement about mine too! :D

Ever since we got married, we didn't think we need help. Then we gave in, we had our hourly form of helper who would come in once every 2 weeks to come do the more massive chores. Then if you know, we sorta of moved back to my mom's place in 2008 so that my parents can take care of Isa after work as I had to slog like hell then for my previous (one and only corporate job). But in 2009, I had an accident. Then in 2010, we felt it was enough. I was too tired and knew that I could not withhold it anymore. So we arranged and applied for Mary Jane to come. Our first form live in helper started her stint in 2010 December. 

December 2010: Her name was Mary Jane. She is the same age as I am. She is the sister of my cousin's maid so she was direct hired rather. She only had a 3 yr experience working in Lebanon, Middle East and she was diploma trained in sewing. She sewed many things for my household, pillow and bolsters casing for the children, cushions covers etc. She is from Philipines. Just my personal preference to engaged one from Philipines than any other country. She was a kind soul but can be impatient with my lil brat though. But overall I would say we treated her quite well enough till we feel she could not handle my 2 kids with the chores. So we bade goodbye to her just this August. I didn't had the heart to send her back cos I knew she needed the money to send home so I sent her for a transfer just last August. There you are: Mary Jane.

Isa and Yaya in Jan 2011. Her 2nd month with us.

August 2012: Then we got our second helper, Helen which we address her as Auntie as she is much older than me. She is 44 and had 15 yrs of experience working in Malaysia and Kuwait. She is my other cousin's maid's cousin. Another direct hired case. Though she cannot handle chores as well as I am but she cooks fantastic food and she simply has her way with my children. Both my kids adore her though obviously I knew my younger one is very sticky with her. She is such a godsend cos she is so patient (much more patient) with the kids than I am. She seemed to be able to read my mind on what I wanted to do next (example things to prepare for an outing). She got along so well with my family and she is such a humble lady. There you are: my Auntie.

Dora with Auntie in Oct 2012, her 2nd month us too.

Dear God, I thank you for bestowing me with such good help. I really appreciate them, really.

Domestic helper..

This is my first post on this above topic. Never did I feel comfortable writing about it cos I reckon I would always definitely mention more negativity than the other. Though I try to curb my emotions in this wee hours but this is definite worth an entry.

Well guess I would have to brace myself this time as I continue to learn how to man the rope in handling manpower issues at home.

Just to kick start this topic.

I had my first domestic helper way back in Dec 2010. We decided to hire one cos we know we were planning to have no 2. So guess it would be good to have her come in earlier than expected so that she can get familiarize before the baby comes along. And also we were planning to switch Isa from full day childcare to a kindy so as to cut cost.

So I went to ask around. Asking around in a sense that I look for my own maid rather than pick from the pool from the agency. Why this choice you might ask. Well I always believe recommendation by word of mouth definitely works better than advertisements (from the agent's mouth).

So ta dah.. my cousin's maid who was on good talking terms with me told me that her sister was actually looking for a employer in Singapore as well! So with a stroke of luck or not.. we went to process her paperwork and it really was not such a breeze.. we waited, went for our holidays in Perth, came back.. called and sms.. still she was not here yet! So finally on 3rd December, she arrived in Singapore and we went to fetch her from the agent. Her name was Mary Jane and her only working experience was in Lebanon, Middle East for 3 years. We always call her yaya for short. "Yaya" in Tagalog means "worker".

For the first year with us, she was like the glue in the gap or the cement in between the bricks. She was literally a good helper from all directions. She could do anything everything.. especially when it comes to catching pests, she is good! When it comes to children's routine, she was also doing good! Cooking so-so but she had a way through my son's stomach. My dearest son is a quite a picky eater u see and to make him happy with your cooking is like asking the emperor to pick a delicacy in that sense.

Everything was fine.. till the arrival of Ms Pinu. Hmm ok.. ya definitely after the arrival of Ms Pinu.

Talk about cutting cost, we decided not to engage a confinement aunty as it was expensive and it was not practical cos my humble home simply could not house another person.

So confinement was a breeze cos there was no one to nag at me, no one to shout at me and I could breastfeed all I want. Plus I could bath! but I was good enough to just do it from the 5th day after birth.

Anyway.. cut the story short. Soon after we realized yaya could not cope well. We talked to her, asked her and counsel her. But I think she didnt realize she is not coping well with the 2 kids and the chores and etc.

Her standard of cleaning went from bad to worse to worst.. there was always something that she forgets.. either the tabletop is not clean or the rag is on the floor or the mop is not being washed. Worst.. she did not even check my pant's pocket for tissue before she washed it.. Mind you, she handwashed it and she did not even check. Thank God it was not dollar bills.

One month passed and another month passed.. I tolerated and gave her chance and told her off nicely and harshly.. apparently the latter worked but I literally felt like a bitc*. This was not me. This was not the yaya we knew. She changed.. maybe this was her true colours. She slackened she hit her phone buttons more often than she touched the pots and pans. She also grew more impatient with my son.. n daughter. :( it just seemed that everything was tearing apart.

So on the fateful morning of 2nd August, we bade farewell to her. Told her in the morning that I will sending her to the agent as I had already found a helper which I could pay lesser (in terms of remuneration). I did not even want to give her a chance. This is me, not wiling to entertain nonsense.
Bye yaya..

Shall write more about my new maid in the next "All about maids" entry.
It is 12:26am now. Shall catch some winks before my lil one wakes up to do her business.