Monday, March 11, 2013

FTWM.. what is that?

The above acronym actually means Full Time Working Mums.

Well there was a whole big celebration linky party about SAHMs who all believes that they strive their best to be there for their family, nothing less than perfect. To be honest I really look up to these mummies who stay at home for the sake of their families. They are not paid, no annual leave nor bonus is given.. And they work 24/7. I salute you mummies for the sacrifices you made for your love ones. Well there are always two sides of the coin and I happen to be on the other side. So we, the FTWMs, also want to hop on the bandwagon for some celebrations! Well here is my version of why I decided to be on the FTWM side.

Yes I work full time (I tweaked a little of my working hours for this year) but still my working status is still reflected as a full time staff on my payslip. 

"Since young, my mom was a FTWM. My sister and I were in the care of my babysitter who later became my Godma. I literally stayed with her throughout the whole of weekdays, only to go home on either Friday night or Saturday mornings. So after I gave birth, I also decided to take the path of my mom, who still works now. To better provide my family in term of financial I guess. I got married young and there was really too many commitments that we shouldered. Moreover my hubs was in favour of me working as he knew that I "was not the kind who can stay at home".

So from young, Isa was in the care of a babysitter too. In 2008, my new corporate job moved me to the west side so I had to move to my parent's place so that I can take a shorter route to work. But it turned out that it was not for the better. I worked full time and hours were long. On top of that I took on part time tuition in the night time. I thought money was very important. Guess I was wrong. Cos I got stressed up that I had a incident. An incident that led me to lose a very dear one in my life. I guess it was God's calling. I think he was trying to tell to slow down. So I did. I spent more time with God and I went back to my old job as an early childhood educator and picked up a job near my own place. So we moved home. So now my kids are in the care of my helper and my MIL who stays with me. You can perhaps join the dots on how we manage this new lifestyle from then on."

And now here is a typical day for me:
AM
645 wake up and get ready
715 wake my son for school
730 send my son to school, recites his spelling words to him during the ride
8am reach school and I make my way to work
9am Start Work

PM
6pm get off work

7pm dinner
730-830 Takes care of my daughter while supervising my son in his work
830-930 Children get ready for bed
10 Me time or spend time talking to hubs about the day
11 time for bed

By the way, this is just an ideal schedule for me. I have not insert any unforseen circumstances (such as children falling sick or some broken appliance) or situations when firefighting is literally needed at home. Did I also mention that I also run a online blogshop, on top of that I also have like 6 group chats in my WA (this is very important cos they help me to maintain my sanity!). So friends, think again before you want to ask me why I didnt reply to your sms at once. :)
It is never easy to be a full time working mum. Neither it is easy to bring up a child. Such as the Africa proverb goes:

"It takes a village to raise a child"

Author unknown


How apt. So people please do not judge us when we place our children in the care of another caregiver/s. Ask before you do cos Each and every one of us has our untold story

Hope this blogpost will give you a more insight of how we FTWM try to balance up our life. How we FTWMs try very hard to still bring some bread home and yet hope to be there for our children. How we also yearn to stay at home but yet we can't (perhaps for our family).
So to ever dearest Isa and Dora, mama really hopes to be there for you but I hope you will understand one day why I choose to take this route instead of another.

Come hop over and see our whole array of FTWMs with their own stories to tell.
Linking up with Sandra's


5 comments:

Ai Sakura said...

I'm sure they will understand! At least they are able to see you every night before they sleep :)

Ai @ Sakura Haruka

Sandra Tan said...

Thanks for supporting my linky! ;)

Enjoying reading how the other FTWMs out there cope! Glad you managed to find a better "balance" now with your job and kids!

Missus Tay said...

You are doing great! Your kids clearly adore you!

Connie Huang Low said...

Ai: thanks! :) oh yes. I make it a point that I set the night routine with them, regardless the small or the big one. Cons: I cant go on a getaway with hubs.

@Sandra: YW! :D Oh yes, the balance is ver impt to me.

@Candice: thanks for being so encouraging! :D You are doing very well too!

dianaruth said...

Hi Connie
Here's dropping a note to cheer you on! "WAY TO GO! MAMA!". I think we are in a very similar situation. I have 3 kids and a very demanding job. I feeling rather low at this moment every ask I speak (or type) as I will be off for a business trip for the next week. Missing by babies already. Still,I am thankful for my job as it allows me to provide for my children.

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