Ok back to the title. Have you ever wonder how it is to be a mom of two? I mean the juggling of time between your kids and your husband.. even trying to find time for yourself? Nobody is born to be a mom so I guess for most of us, we do unravel the methods along the way, isn't it? How many trials and errors do we make so that the situation that is presented in front of us is an ideal one. Or perhaps how many quarrels do we have with our husbands so as to iron out our differences. Or maybe we fall into the trap of screaming at our children just to get their work done? Trust me, you are not alone.
In my previous post, I mentioned about the routines I have. And now here I am going to mention the tricks and tips I use on a daily basis so as to find the balance in my new role.
- Have quality time with your husband. I made a pact with my husband that no phones should interrupt our meal time. So bye bye twitter and fb for at least 20 min. Start conversation as by asking how is his day rather than start a conversation relating to the kids or other stuffs. Put him in the first priority when it comes to a conversation. And if you had a lousy day, use this method: take a deep breathe before you talk to him.
- Spend quality time with the kids, individually. Make time just for the elder one or the younger one, regardless of order during the day. No kid would mind you spending some concentrated time with them. For me I spend at least 10 min just for each child per day. For Isa, the journey by public transport to school can be our quality time or bedtime stories with him will always do the trick. For Dora, bathing time is always our bonding time. Not forgetting some chatting time with her before bed time. Like right now, Ray papa is playing wii with Isa while I type this away with Dora sleeping besides me.
- Spend time alone. This point is a killer for me cos usually my me time will always be in the wee hours such as 2 am or 4am or even 6am. So if you feel you want to do, then cut back on your sleep! I am an avid fb games fan thus getting my hands on the keyboard is like such a rare occasion now as my hands are always busy with either taking care of the older one or the younger one. Thank God for iphone apps. They always keep me sane as I can always do a quick update of my own status on Twitter or the fb app on the phone. My secret: I bring my phone to the toilet with me. Disgusting you call it but it works. Just rem to wash your hands properly after you do the deed will do the trick.
- Talk to someone. What are friends for? If ever you have a problem, always rem you are not alone! Always maintain your sanity by talking to someone, even to a taxi driver! This method of mine always works well for me though I usually have a preferred party to talk to. These people include my own family members, Nic, Kit and even my maid. Trust me, just open your mouth to someone.
- Work out. No time to hit the gym? Fret not. Find time while attending to your children can also help you to work out. Hit the stairs with my older one or do some semi squats while carrying the younger one are my current ways on working out. Nobody says you must burn 500 calories per session or you must have a 6abs stomach. Do not be too hard on yourself. Most importantly have fun while doing these with your children makes life a joy and routines a breeze.
- Stop complaining. Now that I am in a new situation with a new lil girl. Complaints are inevitable as imagine its double the mess, double the noise and double the trouble in my home. But rem this: complains will not solve your problem. Find a solution and stop complaining. Did I ever complain that my husband is always not at home? On the average, he is away from home at least once every week. This has been the pattern of my weekly life since pinu turned 3 weeks old. Or did I ever complain that I had to carry pinu on my left arm so that I can pat Isa to sleep with my right? So I stop complaining. Rather I told him how the children miss him. And I always give him a big hug when he is home after the break. This never fails to bring a smile to his face. Nobody wants to see a black faced wife after being away from home ok?
- Delegate your job. Yes I do have a helper at home and she is a wonderful one though at times she does have her flaws. But remember, she is there for a reason. For her, I usually do not worry about if it is time for my daughter to drink her milk or when it is time to cook. Rem trusting her means lesser stress on yourself. Or you can always get the older one to help out with certain routines such as I get Isa to lay the waterproof mat when it is time for Dora to change her diaper, or we have a mini "competition" to see who can keep the most toys in the shortest time. Make delegation of jobs fun so that it is easier for the recipient to accept the "task".
- Attitude. This is probably THE most important point of what I have mentioned today. They never teach us this in school if not I guess I would have ace the subject.. Simple policy: If you are positive, your outcome will be positive or vice versa.
- Pray. I am not offically a Christian yet but hey! God is listening to all of us. He even know our inner thoughts so just pray! As they said: when the going gets tough, the tough gets going! So if you are stress, tired, or worn out. Just pray.
Long blog entry huh. But definitely a satisfying one for me. Hope my tricks and tips help you in certain ways :)